26 Things I've Learned Before Making 26.

So, my birthday was a few days ago. Sure, it sounds dramatic of me to say that I’m getting up there but I mean, I am really getting up there, man. Lol. Where does the time even go? Despite entering maw maw status by making my way into the latter years of my 20s (whoop!), I'm beyond blessed and grateful to have been able to see yet another year of life! 25 was full of lessons, sadness, joy, ups and downs, etc., so i'm excited to see what 26 has in the works for me. 

I celebrated my day with a couple good friends at Luke Restaurant in the Central Business District. It was only right that I wore the jazzy dress you see above and strappy heels in attempts to turn the sexy on. Ha, I think the mission was accomplished. That's how it's suppose to be on your birthday, though-- you have to fuck it up. #SISYOUBETTERSLAY. My birthday had a rough start (typical) but as it went on, things got a lot better. The drinks were flowing, the food was amazing and I was surrounded with so so much love.

As i sit back and reflect, I really have learned a lot about myself over the years. By allowing myself to be as transparent as possible, that's helped me uncover some shit about me that I didn't even know was a thing, like wtf? I've had so many aha moments, breakthroughs and realizations, and I honestly credit all of that to my open-mindedness. When you can look your truths in the eye and not flinch out of utter disappointment but more so just accept what's there, you're workin' with something. You can get better.

my delicious ass birthday cake. 

my delicious ass birthday cake. 

So, here we go. 26 things i've learned over the years in 5, 4, 3, 2.........

1. Everybody is running on their own time. Deal with it.

2. The love you give out may not always be reciprocated, but that's okay. Keep doing you.

3. People are fucking selfish (see numero 1).

4. Alone time is highly essential to my wellbeing. It makes no sense to force myself to be around people, ew.

5. People are annoying.

6. Peanut butter is the goat and will forever be the GOAT. I don't care who disagrees. It's amazing.

7. People make time for stuff that's important to them. If you ever come across someone who just seems too damn busy ALL the time, yeah--they're just not foolin' with you like that. But don't trip! There's tons of people that do want you around that would gladly clear their schedule on your behalf.

8. Pizza, ice cream and a good cathartic cry never hurt nobody. Let it out, sis.

9. Dogs are loyal. Loyal AF.

10. Just because something makes sense to you doesn't mean others will agree.

11. Drinking red wine while reading a good book will never get old.

12. Some people are real life manipulators. They don't want to see you shine unless they're included in your glory. They don't genuinely want you to be happy unless they're the reason behind your smile. Fuck them and keep it moving. Until they seek mental assistance, that's all they're gonna bring to the table so, issa hell no. Its BEEN a hell no.

13. Surround yourself with love. Love is high vibrations. Love is support. Love is genuine and pure. Though it's not always easy, it is constructive and helpful. You deserve all of that, always. Never shortchange yourself.

14. Your past doesn't define you. We're human and we make mistakes. It makes no sense to beat yourself down about something that has already happened. Just strive to do better. If in fact you fail to do better the first time around, get your shit in order and try again. No worries.

15. Baseball players are the sexiest of them all.

16. When it rains, it mf pours. 

17. Okay so, there's nothing wrong with canceling plans to stay in and do nothing. I'll take Netflix and chill for 500, Alex.

18. A lot of people don't love you like they say they love you.

19. Meditation is key to remaining level headed and calm no matter what. Yes, you'll experience negative emotions, people will piss you off and your life can seem like it's in shambles, but meditation helps bring you back to being centered. Process the feelings, then return to a state where you're vibrating higher.

20. Friends come and go. The real ones are never gonna fall off.

21. Having more associates than actual friends is a good thing. People talk too much. Keep your biz to yourself because people are just nosey anyway.

22. Treating yourself is beautiful and should be done often. You can't take any of this shit with you, so you might as well indulge within reason. Like, let's be responsible, y'all. You don't need to be treating yourself to no $200 dinner if you still have a bill to take care of. Prioritize and treat yourself within reason.

23. Having expectations of people will almost always end in disappointment. Always.

24. Spicy chicken nuggets were the best thing to ever happen to Wendy's. They gotta bring those back ASAP.

25. Kind hearted people go through a lot of brutality because people try to use others when they can. A lot of people mistake kindness for weakness, but don't take this personal. The way they treat you says everything about them and has nothing to do with you. Also, look on the bright side; things usually get pretty damn shitty before they get better--if you're going through a storm, keep pushing. Your good stuff is on the way.

26. Smiling makes shit better. It just does.

candid.

candid.

peace and blessings,

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Confessions of a Selectively Social Introvert

Please kindly go away, I’m introverting.
— Beth Beulow

In today's society, it seems as though being an introvert and staying to self is becoming more and more popular.  Everybody and their maw is tryna be a damn "loner".

It's a little sickening only because people go overboard with that, "I don't fuck with nobody EVER" mentality.

The "I don't fuck with nobody. Ever. Period. At any given time" situation is beyond extreme. It's not that us introverts don't like people and it's not that we don't enjoy company--too much of it is just draining and annoying. I remember I was out with some friends one night and all out of the blue, I got tired of being there. Being spoken to was getting annoying and getting accidentally bumped into and spilling a little bit of my drink on my hand pissed me off more than it usually would. I was really just over the night and ready to gtf.

No one should take someone finding more joy in being alone often personal but hey, they do. People think you're rude or lack social skills. They think you're purposely dismissive. I know there are many levels to this, so I'll just speak about myself.

I've become very picky about how my time is spent and with whom it's spent. I've always been that way, but it's extra crucial to me now that i've gotten older. Protecting my peace is a top priority of mine and it's one of the few things I'm absolutely not flexible about. I already don't care to be around a whole bunch of people, ever. I enjoy being alone, but at certain times with the right people, I like company. I've had some folks take these truths about me pretty hard and i just didn't understand. To be honest, i still don't. I tend to try and meet people where they are and accept them the way they are, so i get confused sometimes as to why people can't accept us introverts.

Overall, people do get on my nerves (that sounds horrible but it's facts). I can't stand drama or draining energy and sadly, that's what plenty of people come with. Because of that, i tend to seek refuge in my alone time where i can create my own little peaceful world. No, i can't dwell here 24/7 because that's hella unrealistic, BUT i can revisit this space whenever I choose. When I say I'm in my own zone often, I mean it. I have cancelled plans to stay home and read a book and when i tell y'all I felt no ways about it....I WAS AT PEACE, okay?!

There are just a few things you should know about introverts in general: we're NOT rude, we don't purposely walk around with headphones in to seem unapproachable (maybe some people do, but i don't) AND we DO know how to hold conversations. 9 times out of 10, we just don't want to talk to you. *shrugs* LOL.

If you have anyone in your life who's an introvert or even a little similar, please don't take their standoffishness personal. Matter of a fact, don't take anything in life personal, ever. They definitely value your friendship, but understand that they'll need time to recharge sometimes. Relax!

peace and blessings,

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Five Things I Loved About November

In my August Reflections post, I talked about how that month was so moving and eye-opening for me. I had plenty of breakthroughs back then and this month was no different. Five key things happened and though some were stressful at the time, I learned a lot in the process.

 - MORE PRESSURE.

That fire under my ass was just the motivation I needed. I wasn't getting complacent, but more challenges forced me to kick my hustle up a few notches just because. Ain't mad at it!

- MORE ALONE TIME.

I like my alone time already but it seems like this month i've been extra solo. Lol. That time with self has propelled me to craft new ideas and accomplish more goals. With my busy schedule, it can be hard to stay on task and find time to be more productive, but the extra time gives me no space to come up with excuses as to why it's not happening. "It" being the magic, of course.

- BEAUTY IN THE BASICS.

This month, I found myself being extra appreciative of all the little things I'd usually take for granted. Something like seeing a flower and acknowledging the bloom, or just being grateful that a chair is a chair.....*sings* even when no one's sitting there. Showing more gratitude towards everyday things has shifted my perspective (yet again) and forced me to look at the bigger picture in life. Every little thing matters and has purpose. 

- MORE FORGIVENESS.

I read Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping earlier this year, and I'm happy to say that I've been using a lot of those practices to my advantage. I've never had extreme issues with forgiveness, but i did find I was just saying the words, going through the motions, trying to make it sound all good, but didn't mean any of it until later. I've genuinely been forgiving and moving on accordingly. 

- MORE CHANGES.

This is always good. Change is exciting for me because it's different, it's sporadic and you don't know how you'll react to it until it happens and you have to.

What shifts have y'all experienced this year? 2017 is coming to a close, so I hope whatever it was is something that can help you break into the new year feeling amazing and unstoppable. Let me know (:

peace and blessings,

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